± H13.com - Archives - December 2007
december 2007

dalliance12:25am saturday, 29th december
in wondering there is sometimes lost the hour, the moment
life diligently will press on, without such airy dalliance
the world never dreams, not that the merest of seconds is lost

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Merry Christmas!5:28am tuesday, 25th december

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In the Dreaming 91:48am friday, 21st december
In the dreaming, I met the man I could have been, and let him go.

In the dreaming, my worst fear came true, and all I could do was go on.

In the dreaming, I have flown and jumped into the sky, and believed.

In the dreaming, I have shaped worlds to come, however arbitrary.

In the dreaming, doom has visited me, left me tangled in despair.

In the dreaming, hope never died, however small the candle’s light.

In the dreaming, death had no power over me, for I belong elsewhere.

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to mine3:29am monday, 17th december
i am drowned in the sound of your breathing,
      drifting far beyond time
where no shadow can reach me, where light splits
      upon a thousand mirrors
i have inhaled your orchid memory as i stepped
      out of the atmosphere
nowhere can i find myself as i once wandered,
      separate from the sensation
in the wilds of the meteor showers in summer
      dark, i forget five selves
the walking wind carries me to the beginning of
      your silently mouthed name
i have been in your eyes a million years, my whole
      life lived in one blink

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Doomed12:10am thursday, 13th december
I have been doomed so many times. I should be used to it by now, but the dreaming still affects me, some sort of fantasy that spills from my sleep still has me running around like a chicken with its head cut off (so to speak). Perhaps it is all a matter of degree. In me there whispers a comforting tune, that tells me that the curse is over, but the testing of this idea still comes at me in visions of despair. I will always fight them. Their resolutions are varied and sometimes intense, but sometimes all it requires is to understand that these — they are only a dream. And like all dreams, I may not ever find their true meaning, merely to wake, shake them off, and go on with living. This is the best of all of us.
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memory2:26am sunday, 9th december
we forget, scars remember themselves
i learn how to work in the dark, i remember
a calm: all pain is illusion, without center
(dreams emerge through us as things)
i hold as still as darkness, and i listen
the gnarls on the trees murmur deeply
i fathom the secret lives, sifting, lingering

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world12:40am wednesday, 5th december
into the stream we will send ourselves, to search for the light
behind us, a hundred million years buried in the waters’ banks
ahead, the darkness we are to shape into the world to come

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A House3:57am saturday, 1st december
There was a dream I once had, back in 1994, when I was deep within the madness. Jesus Christ was before me and He said, “Let me build you a house, big and strong.” And there was more, but I do not recall it. It was like a workman’s poem he was saying to me, a carpenter’s poem. He was shoving together some logs into something like a log cabin. Then I do remember that what I said back to him was my own specifications of what I would like to have as a dream home, The Home of the Future™ (yes, think Epcot Center). I asked for a technological marvel, when all he was showing me was wood. But some nights later, I had a dream, where Rosanna Arquette was a computer, an image on a screen that floated around, showing me that exact home I laid out. Strange the way the Lord works, n’est-ce pas? I’m glad that I never got that house for real, but I did get it. It is that we mostly misunderstand the mystery, I think: ask, and it shall be given to you; knock, and it shall be opened. You may find that it is true.
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