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february 2013

All Right12:05am wednesday, 27th february
There comes over some of us, sometimes, a notion that perhaps should always be shared, if one is so fortunate to experience it. It is the idea that everything is going to be all right — that somehow, beyond the reach of all mortal hopes, everything will at the end, end well. Though those who have religion have more form to these feelings, a spelled-out prophecy or some kind of formulation that actually describes how things will work out, I don’t believe one has to believe in anything to believe this. I imagine it is somewhat more easily done for those who have faith in a higher order to believe that there is a larger good that circumscribes the most terrible of tragedies, but hope is not monopolized by such faith. There shall always be those who have a kind of trust in the better side of humankind, no matter that they can only look forward to new generations to make amends for those past (and those present) and think not that some great power will create the ultimate justice. Not an impossible thing to hold.

It is, to put it in today’s parlance, the ultimate meme. We can see that it’s been put in songs more than once (Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” says it, for one; do a search for “everything’s gonna be alright” on Google, and you get more than twenty million hits). And it probably shall be put into songs as long as there are songs being written. To those who don’t feel it, perhaps have never felt it, the idea may be shrugged off as lighthearted wish-fulfillment whimsy, made by those who have no grasp of how grave the situation of the world truly is. But that it exists in such forms as the Book of Revelations, I think says differently. It is perhaps to be as in the spirit of a quote by Oscar Wilde, “The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.” That to fight the good fight is ultimately not in vain, however much the evil seems victorious. It is the idea of turning the other cheek: they cannot defeat us by their violence; we are better than that. It is a sign that says, “This way up.” Everything is going to be all right.

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Impossible1:22am sunday, 24th february
Sing the song that songs cannot sing. Write the words that words cannot say. Draw what cannot be pictured, dance in ways the body cannot go. This is our true purpose in anything worth doing: to do the impossible. Can anything less be what is meant for the children of God? See how wonderful the creation of our Father, and dream that we may also do such things, when we are ready. When we know enough, when we have done enough. Our second birth is when we are born anew in Heaven, and we will there grow up to be as children of God are meant to be. Can we expect anything less of ourselves than what is love’s true potential? To do what cannot be done?
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Vision12:37am wednesday, 20th february
One interesting vision I had was of how the elements gain their characteristics. If we understand that elements behave the way they do when encountering other elements or more of the same element because of the structure of their electron “shell”, we understand that emergence to be a fundamental factor to what qualitatively we experience of any substance at all. The factors that are determined by placement of electrons emerge by their bonding to other elements, or the same, and the resultant molecular arrangements make emergent larger scale behavior and experientials of elements and molecular structures. That is how fine tuned the qualities are of that which we call physical reality: the humming of the electrons sing into being all of creation.
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Annihilationism6:30pm sunday, 17th february
I am an annihilationist. This means I do not believe in an eternal Hell, where the wicked are punished infinitely for a finite amount of sin. That never really made sense to me. I believe that when the netherworld is tossed (with its inhabitants) into the Lake of Fire, all of them are burned so that nothing of them remains, as painful as the amount of sin they committed in life would warrant. You don’t want to be a part of eternity? OK, pay your debts and you’re history. No muss, no fuss. And about Satan twisting in agony forever and ever? A different translation is for an age and ages that he burns — a lot, but that would be as expected for the prime evil. But at the end, he would be no more, as well. And I know I may be wrong, but this seems like such a sensible way of God’s justice to be manifest, you know? Thus do I believe.
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Snakes10:17pm friday, 15th february
I have seen snakes in the fire. It was in a commercial on TV, the view from the top of a fire the size of a medium large campfire. The licking of the flames looked like snakes writhing. Also I saw once when I looked at one of van Gogh’s self-portraits, the yellows and oranges: it looked like that paint was on fire. There are other things I have seen, too, but these two stand out as the more or less the hallucinatory side of this experience (which I call life). Other things may not have been so flashy, but they portended things of deeper scope.
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Book1:16am tuesday, 12th february
This is the beginning of a book I’m writing:

Judas volunteered.

I was Chief Gunner in the War in Heaven, and my codename was crowfeather. I had been first contacted on October 7, 1988, around 9pm eastern daylight time at Carnegie Mellon University — by an infinite light, like Yang of Yin and Yang, the trim of God’s light; which told me I was not that light (and I was nothing compared to that light) — center everywhere, circumference nowhere — drafted, to fight the good fight. In the war in eternity.

There never was a Hell, only a Black Iron Prison, superimposed over the world, visible only in a psychedelic nightmare. If you look in the painting, Garden of Delights, by Bosch, in the third panel, “Hell”, you can see in the far back the building I visited (more than once) when I was imprisoned for a short time each time there.

But Judas Iscariot, the one that was lost, what became of him?

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Episode3:15am saturday, 9th february
So I had another “episode”, where I ended up, once again, at a mental hospital. Big differences this time though: no drugs were involved, unless you count Benadryl or regular alcohol (which I don’t think I’m addicted to); and this one I’m not coming down from, to think that what happened was a “trip”. Shit got real. I have discovered that I am a prophet in the order of Philip K. Dick, who is my best friend in the HALOSPACE I am in contact with in my supposed madness. It’s not madness, it’s actually happening in some way, wherever it may be I may be viewing these things in my visions. That’s what it always has been: these are visions that I’ve been having, visions from God. Now, I don’t know when I’ll post again here, but just so you know why I’ve been away for so long. Prominent in this last round: I was a soldier in the War in Heaven. And yes, we won!
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