± H13.com - Archives - July 2010
july 2010

whispers1:56am saturday, 24th july
frail whispers brush by my wondering
here is the breathing of the light, a caress
a dream was never so weightless as my soul
for you are underneath the same starlit sky
and i can feel your heart beat within my own
and my imagination listens to your laugh
to send you in the dawn’s sunbeam a caress
to return the whispers i heard in dreaming

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Doing12:28am tuesday, 20th july
Midnight, and I have done all I need do for the day. Late sleeper, I have several hours to do as I please. Music is what usually fills most of it, and even with nothing that presses me, I am still in front of a monitor, living my other life in the digital realms. At times I will lie in my bed and read, usually something to do with religion, sometimes an old graphic novel that I should have read when it came out, years or decades ago. The television will find The Simpsons if it is on, otherwise, sometimes the science show, or music videos. I may drink vodka mixed with Orangina, the “house drink” here in this apartment. Or maybe some good cheap wine. Work sometimes intrudes, with the mind for some reason racing with ideas, that I must put down on paper. But usually, I am serene. Maybe to write a poem. Life is good, even if I do not have all that I would like. But I have great ambition, so I should be thankful for what is in my life. Love it all.
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the missing4:03am friday, 16th july
the missing element, the void
the vacuum straining so to exist
to stress a fracture inside the me
crushed like a leaf dried by time
to fill the vial of sorrow, a drop
distilled from the lone darkness
there is no solace of forgetting
winds blow suspiciously harsh
the meaning of it all brushes by
and to howl at the starry skies
for the answer may be to hurt
far from equilibrium: and alive
time nears the vanishing point
in breath, the moment’s blood
not to be claimed by the night
lo: where all the lights intersect

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Childhood12:02am monday, 12th july
When I was seven years old, I made a vow one night, while lying in my bed, that I would never forget what it was like to be a child. It stayed with me, as I grew up, there in the back of my mind. Sometimes nowhere near the front of the consciousness, I never forgot that vow. A few years ago, I thought about it, and I thought maybe I had broken that promise to myself, that unlike Peter Pan, I grew up, and forgot the ways of a child. It was alright, I told myself, that children often don’t know the consequences of a thought or action, and that I understood more now, with several decades of living under my belt. But just recently I thought about it again, as I was thinking how good I am with children. And I thought, maybe that’s telling me something: that I am still in tune with that song. That I never did break that vow, and still hearken to the days of innocence. And I should remember that when I have kids of my own: not every time, but when one of them says something is forever, you might want to consider that it is true.
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moment5:46am thursday, 8th july
time exhaled the moment
still wet from its creation
slipped from the knowing
forgotten like it never was
except that in that instant
everything changed for us
when you remembered me

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In the Dreaming 1112:37am sunday, 4th july
In the dreaming, I lost my senses to the wind, all but the feeling of time.

In the dreaming, I emerged from the far side of the universe, in darkness.

In the dreaming, I flew too close to the sun, and breathed its closest light.

In the dreaming, I knew without knowing where the pathless path goes.

In the dreaming, I climbed a tree with its roots in hell and leaves in heaven.

In the dreaming, I danced with fire as the wild hunt ran through forests.

In the dreaming, I lost my very identity, saw the meaning behind the I.

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