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Holding Pattern3:50am saturday, 27th october
I can’t keep this up right now. Much too much going, as it were. So, I’m going to be taking a little break from this site. Maybe it’ll be a month and I’ll be back roarin’ in December, I don’t know right now. It’s either that or just keep posting crappy stuff, and I’d rather not do that kind of thing. Let me suffice it to say that my life is going really great, and this vacation is because so much good stuff is happening that I must attend to these delights. You know, little things still go wrong, but I am thankful basically every day for the life I live, the second chance I’ve been given. To be or not to be was never the question.

Cheers.

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Despair4:53am friday, 26th october
Perhaps I must despair, every once in a while. I am no solid thing. Being found, as I am — perhaps it is not ingrained in me all the way through; for I was lost, I think, for longer than that. I have become a sense of sureness to those who know me, the one who knows what is going on in the small things, and the overall character of the world. I am responsible. But even if this is my lot, I must in private buckle under the weight of some carefully placed feathers — in private, that I capitulate a little. For in public I cannot let them know how sometimes I am a hairsbreadth from collapse. Or perhaps I am merely being melodramatic. For it is true that in the real world, I will not allow myself the luxury of weakness. Vonnegut says we are who we pretend to me: if this is so, then perhaps I am stronger than that, after all. That only in private, in the quiet after hours, do allow myself this: to despair. Just a little, to think that it will not all come out alright... then to pick myself up, and go on with the rest of life.
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More Quotes5:45pm monday, 22nd october
While we are postponing, life speeds by.
– Lucius Annaeus Seneca

An idea is never given to you without you being given the power to make it reality. You must, nevertheless, suffer for it.
– Richard Bach

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
– Aaron McGruder

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
– Umberto Eco

We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices.
– Woody Allen

Every organization appears to be headed by secret agents of its opponents.
– Robert Conquest

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go4:26am thursday, 18th october
as we lead our storyless lives
memory is not hazy, but a house of wax
though love: from nowhere, here
a million stars, a cup of infinity
the flux of a universe breathing
(all i know is, in every song
every song sings about her)
we pin the heaven to the earth
from grounded feet out our eyes
out through the empyrean reaches
though love: everywhere, there
the story goes, it is the end of ending

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rhythms2:06am monday, 15th october
rhythms that are deep within cannot be touched by darkness
flight is possible when what is inside you cannot be contained
you may discover that there is more light in your soul than doubt

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Seen7:25am thursday, 11th october
I thought I saw it, there in the movie Woodstock: Heaven and Hell. How I thought that I saw things, mystical things, secrets. In the movie there is a split screen in one of the scenes: the concert on the left, the jungles of Vietnam on the right: that was it, the above and the below, visually upon which to feed, sprinkled with my own meanings. Why did I think myself such a prophet that I needed to heed only the visions, not holding to anything that might have been above me? I never wrote anything down that was to pass, however, and this is the only criterion of a seer. What made me think these visions of mine of such import when I would sacrifice nothing for them? That their meanings, a pattern made of dust, were so easily blown into the winds....
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Busy12:04am sunday, 7th october
Been a bit busy of late, so here are some quotes by other people. Peace.


Jesus was lonely and sorrowful and scared — an unbelievably real person.
– Scott Peck

There is only one tragedy in the end: not to have been a saint.
– Léon Bloy

Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
– Plato

In order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
– Henry Christopher Bailey

If we’d been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we would believe what they believe.
– A church sign in Northern Ireland

Pain is certain, suffering is optional.
– Buddha

Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.
– Yoda

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wax3:57am wednesday, 3rd october
the longing in me sings a singular note
where bathes the spirit realm in desire
i tire of the constant drive, the fever
knee deep in conviction, i speak of love
i open a new door in the wind, outside
inhale the ink of darkness and dream
now a vision (here) now without depth
the mirror reflects shadow and motion
i am within my own self a stranger
exhale the dreaming i do not remember
the longing in me finds the slowing
i forget why i sang, i forget darkness
i remember dawn a horizon opening

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