± H13.com - Archives - September 2008
september 2008

Meant5:13am sunday, 28th september
I am a deep believer in what is meant to be. Not that I have no say, for fate comes about in part by what one does in this life; but to believe that one is part of a grand tapestry that is spelled by destiny. I know not what to say to one that has had tragedy happen to him or her, and I must remain mute rather than say that some higher purpose is in it — I cannot really even think such things. And myself, perhaps I would think differently if tragedy fell on my shoulders, as well. But as far as I have gone, I believe I have glimpsed the silver wheels turning in the machinery behind the curtain of night. Not so that I might use it to any advantage, for they are not built for such purposes: but that reason exists for what transpires. Meaning to the most outside happenings.
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promise12:28am wednesday, 24th september
i was not born in fire or ice, but forth wet with promise
many dreams later, scarred from where I’ve fallen and gotten back up
in the darkest hours, always hope; and love from out of nowhere

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Desktop1:38am sunday, 21st september

This is the desktop image on my main monitor.

Click on this to get a larger version.

It’s a nebula that people have dubbed “The Eye of God”. It also sort of looks like Sauron from The Lord of the Rings movies. Whatever you make of it, one of my favorite visions taken from the sky.

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electric12:11am wednesday, 17th september
as if to breathe of being in the very infinite infinitesimals
every erg of inspiration, through the blood electric
i wander on earth born new in heaven, astonished
fire inside to capture the luminosity of a spirit newly ignited
escaping the dream, stealing art from the imagining
they dance into form in the turning of my weightless hands
in tune with the music of the spheres, to sound in light

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Miracles12:40pm saturday, 13th september
I believe in miracles. Once, back when I was still in my madness, back in Korea a decade+ ago, I remember thinking about my ex-best friend, and how he was never good with the ladies. I wondered how he was, alone all the time, and then I thought, maybe he’s not alone — miracles happen, after all; and lo and behold, when I got back to America, he was actually cohabiting with a female (whom he later married and had kids with). Sonofagun. True, we are desensitized to them, since (in my opinion) they happen every day, but now and again, we are taken completely by surprise. And it need not be a huge thing, just something that wakes us up a little more than we usually are. To glimpse the hint of the realm of angels.
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know2:38am wednesday, 10th september
i know my knowledge is riddled with cracks
complete contradictions blindly shaking hands
somehow to resist absolute fracture
if when shaken by the yawn of doubt, to withstand
socrates said that he knew only that he knew nothing
i wish myself i could be so wise to deny it all
believing my thought is more than mere fantasy

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the secret8:56am saturday, 6th september
if i know only of love, i know everything there is
oftentimes knowing more of what exists, to know nothing at all
as the world can be, the paradox is what makes perfect sense

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breathing12:02am monday, 1st september
my days are spent in quiet contemplation
or not so quiet
my demons still live, and we clash
over trivial things we will argue into the night
usually hidden, he is
lurking in the background process, twisting my thoughts
but i have friends, and he does not
sometimes to find prayers get answered
whether you were ready for the consequences or not
to continue sometimes is pain
but i go on
finding at times the blissful silence
breathing is only breathing

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