I feel at times that I am on the verge of complete freedom from the madness. I find that I can summon reason and faith when the paranoia hits, and the visions turn awry. That I can withstand the voices. Surely, the medication is still useful in quelling much of what this condition hurls at me; but I am getting better, too, I think. I wrote in my private journal, “I will be free of you[, demon].” (Yes, the brackets are actually there in my private copy.) I have not given into the despair, where I think I am doomed to be the son of perdition. Not for some time now. Who knows if I can still hold on, in times coming? The tests become devious at times.... May God grant me mercy, may God grant me strength....
a nameless flower
4:59am friday, 5th december
welcome back,Stand.Thank you for posting.
Stand
1:11pm friday, 5th december
Thanks for reading.
Reflection
5:51pm saturday, 6th december
Remove the passions, and all will be clear.
nikita
12:41am thursday, 5th february
stand, please keep the faith, continue with your meds, take care of yourself and your loved ones, keep busy! i came across your site when someone very close to me got sick in the pretty much same way as you. that was almost 6 years ago. hejust passed away. your postings always gave me hope that it's possible to continue and have a decent and creative life, and i thank you for that. i could never make him read what you wrote. unless he did it on his own, without me knowing it. i wish he had your...discipline? never forget what keeps you going. god bless. n.
a nameless flower
Stand
Reflection
nikita