I must tell myself I am good enough. Hey, me, people can trust you for things. They can count on you for things. Sometimes you are more than adequate. Strange how used I got to failing. My psychosis really did a number on me, back when, like this entry talks about. I can do it, I can make it. I think I must realize that. You know, one of my most frequent prayers to God and Jesus Christ was, "Help me make it through." I think He's done it. My God. I think I will make it, after all. I think the feeling must come over me gradually, but that feeling — I get it now. Do what you have to do, and things will be all right.
That feeling is even stranger realizing the delusions of grandeur that I've had to get over, thinking I was the superman. Contradiction — that is perhaps one of the conditions of being human, no? Thinking both that you can move mountains but not be able to correctly pour a glass of water? The little things: what I did was put myself in charge of the little things. Paying the bills. Doing the laundry. Washing the dishes. That's it, isn't it? Take care of the things you can, and that's the secret. Somewhere along the line of taking care of things, you realize it: you can make it if you only try. Everyone fails — not everyone really tries.
Pierre Anoid
10:09pm monday, 11th february
Yes it is the little things. Do these right and often and the rest will follow. The little things are important too that is the nature of balance.
Pierre Anoid