I am searching for something, I know not what. I will only know what it is I have been seeking when I find it. My dreams may hint at it, but the way of dreams is strange and mysterious — its clues leave more questions than the answers it imparts. I think, perhaps, it is the limits of my patience which are to be tested, that I will continue on looking for that unknown thing until I have just given up — and then it will be right under my nose. Perhaps it is with me now, and I just don't know what to look for to recognize that I have it already... I am giddy. I know it's something good.
God's ways are riddles to the prophet. This poor soul is not even that, so His wink hits me in a thousand different ways, all contradictory but all true, nonetheless. How long will I be kept in the dark, I wonder? ... A feeling comes, now, a sort of chill; that would be paranoia: in my not knowing, but expecting, it is like a lurking beast: I can sense it wanting to shoulder in and take over, but if I can, let me be able not to expect the worst. No, paranoia. Not this time. I will expect the good to come — I will grasp to hope. I will heal. I will press on. I will overcome.
Night has been long. Before dawn, outlines appear and grow sharper as light begins its span across the streets, over buildings, upon the parking lots and lawns. Dreams drift off into the corners of imagination as day prepares itself in its becoming. Sunrise is coming.
Maria
5:07pm thursday, 23rd may
Stand, I think I'm falling in love with you (this is no loveletter or anything). I just want you to know. You're just like my perfect dream boyfriend. So nice, intelligent and you got a true heart. Your thoughts and dreams are so deep, and I just love it! I really got to stop measuring guys up to you, i mean, i acually dumped my last boyfriend because he was to much unlike you.
You are a good man, (..you probaly know that.)
You are my perfect man:)(...probaly know that too, by now)
i must say, the girl who wins your heart is exstemly lucky. you deserv the best.
Maria
Stand