Am I trying to exceed myself? I feel I'm probably on the same kind of trip Philip K. Dick was on. Funny though, this might be something different. Something really big. Waiting for his stuff to arrive, need to check some things out, probably from his exegesis (his journal — this is mine; I'm just more of an exhibitionist, I guess.) Am I making sense at all to anyone out there? Probably just nuts....
Schizophrenia is an interesting subject, and I am definitely subject to it right about now. You see yourself in stuff around the world. Let me clarify: your mind's eye is poured out into the world, it would seem, like parts of you pointing things out to you from the things you see. Hm... maybe it makes even less sense if I try to explain it (while in it). You might think, really think, that Jesus is talking to you. Of course, you probably already knew that eh? This is from the horse's mouth, though... definitely a madness running its course through me (again). Pray for me. This madness is hard to bear.
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5:33pm saturday, 31st august
I know of some of those things you're writing about. And i didn't know until recently: symptoms? like you describe meant schizophrenia. The hard part for me is drawing the lines between the (symptoms) and my japanese half of heritage - genetically half me, my mind belongs to that small island country. And there, things I've read, or and understand from my experiences tell me that things, objects outside are like you know saying, talking being part of - I like to think of it as resounding to a part that already exists within - like the inner part of your ear. or, maybe the point of your ribs. i do'n t think its madness -and for me, i't's lucky I guess that I can explain why to myself. And also, I am so very glad that you are knowing Jesus! What more to say on that? Its a daily walk. All things work together for good of them that love God. he's reminding me..
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