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Commentary 22:06am tuesday, 9th july
The comments/notes for the remaining seven entries in my story:

8. Another of the pieces of my life I have lost is the hearing paper for my second hearing, the one after the one I have written about. It said "[my name], AKA Lucifer Morningstar". I wonder if there is a place in Heaven where all such memories may come back to life.

9. I re-learned, on that farm, my love of reading. It was the only entertainment I really had, seeing that the TV was all in Korean. When I got on medication, I lost the ability (for some reason) to read for any extended period of time.

10. I was in my mother's sister's home initially, after my stint on the farm. When I went nuts again, I sat around their living room, talking to the people in my head. My poor aunt.

11. My dad moved me to his sister's house from my previous aunt's home where I was staying, in October I think it was. It was here that I was deepest in my madness. Medication wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. Putting me away was probably the best thing that anyone could have done for me at that point.

12. It was at this point where I started "getting into God", as it were. It's like step 2 of Narcotics Anonymous: "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." It was the only thing that worked.

13. That was a rough bit, that second semester, at least in terms of the amount of fear I went through. I wouldn't go through anything like that again until my second episode, years later. It wasn't boring, though, let me say. And there's always that sense of relief you get when you find out, hey, I'm not doomed, after all.

14. It was at this point I started writing poetry. Except for this poem, before this period of time, I had always had trouble writing any good verse. I guess it's true that an artist needs to suffer, because after I had gone through my stuff, the poetry flowed as freely as my thought. Though, of course, sometimes thought has its own trouble flowing.


emotion: smiley biggrin grin cool tongue embarassment mad rolleyes frown
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