I wonder if my demons lurk somewhere. I rest a spell, generally free of them for now, but there is that little feeling that they will reassert themselves sometime when I'm not expecting it. In the Bible, there was this man possessed by so many demons (literal or figurative, whichever way you want to look at it), that he called himself (or they called themselves) legion. Now, I was never as bad as all that, but the ones I did have had dug themselves deep into my psyche, and they knew which buttons to press — where my willpower was worn down by consistent failure to withstand — bad habits that became instincts I was powerless to reject. Drugs were a big part of that. I have been clean for almost a year now, but still... when do you know you're really free?
That's what I'm talking about. I have quit before for a little more than a year, whereupon I was tempted and fell. I dunno. My madness once told me I would fall one more time, and then I would be free. Strange thing is, it's been right before as far as these things go — it just won't tell me when that will be. Maybe they do still lurk, my demons. Stay tuned. Methinks my life may suddenly get very interesting, very unexpectedly — though I have no idea when, I think I have one last episode to go.
