This is the me I never was. As Schrodinger's cat is in the indeterminate state between life and death until observed, whereupon it becomes one or the other, when I observe myself through my writing, I collapse the wave — and I think that this is not me that I write, that I am not really one way or another but that mysterious, undecided state, instead. I think I am me only when unobserved by anyone, especially not myself. When you make me write, you force me to make a hundred decisions, a hundred guesses on what I really am. When I write my thoughts, I am creating as much as I am revealing — the act of writing, of forcing the introspection, changes the what from the thoughts you wish to show to what you can show, because thoughts are not words, not even symbols. Thoughts are feelings that do not truly fit into any of the set words that exist to describe them, and when you want to relay them, you have to shove them into whatever pre-invented forms exist — to struggle with the words, which are all you have.
So, let me be forever telling you, "Hello, this is me." I will always be a mystery behind the words, a thing that words can never tell.
mel
10:11pm thursday, 31st october
hi
Anonymous
9:14pm sunday, 3rd november
I can definitly understand what this
person is saying. It's sometimes almost
imossible to express yourself through
words as sometimes there are no words
to express the emotions that you feel.
mel