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A Reminder1:21am saturday, 16th november
The heavens open, and I am terrified. I thought I was past all that weirdness, but this last week I had a minor little scuffle with my old madness. It was the Antichrist trip, as usual, this time as the culmination of all the minor sins I have committed in the last few months or so adding up to one big thing, an assault of paranoia that was perhaps building up behind the scenes this whole time. The wages of sin, I am reminded by my Good Book, is death, so I suppose however bad this juju was that I was getting off easy. It definitely wasn't fun, though. I was sitting at my computer at work when it happened, listening to a Swiss radio station I found on the internet. I thought that maybe I was going to have a freakout right there, in front of everybody. I didn't though; I knew how to handle it, even if it's been awhile since the last one of these. I just stayed quiet, switched to a different station, just waited the little episode out.

I was once told in my madness by the Jesus Christ cartoon in my head not to seek a loud, "thrilling" life, that it was a quiet life that I should desire. It took some years for me, but I think I now know why: the devil can't hide anywhere in the quiet — I think it drives him crazy.


  chief5:39am saturday, 16th november
the devil that i have doesnt like loud noises can you explain how he doesnt like the quiet?

  say what9:45am saturday, 16th november
What minor sins do you speak of?

  Stand9:49am saturday, 16th november
chief, email me — we'll talk.

say what, oh you know, like lying and calling in sick when you're not, boring stuff like that.

  x11:40am saturday, 16th november
You believe that 'the wages of sin is death' but I don't think that 'God' would punish you in that way for not liking your job. Lets face it we're all going to die anyway. You might as well enjoy the life you have now as much as you can. You are in control now, you've just proved it to yourself by not freaking out. You are getting stronger all the time.

  Kyle1:57am tuesday, 19th november
Many times I have felt that I was the worst evil the world had seen, I used to think I was many things, like a vampire, and a witch, tho I was for a little while. Every once in a while I think that I am a vampire, and now I can feel my paranoia building again, i know a break is coming again :( I dont want to tell anyone though...

nightwolf87@cox.net

  Stand3:55am tuesday, 19th november
Remember, Kyle: your parents love you. They would rather that you not feel any pain, but if you do, they want to know that you're hurting.

  Kyle9:52pm sunday, 24th november
Thanks Stand :)

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