There are instances when I feel that reality itself will unravel, to show its true, hidden form. It is a form of paranoia. It is the suspicion that the world is not as it seems, that there is a conspiratorial, underlying order beneath the surface, which I seem to glimpse from time to time. It is terrifying. These moments are usually triggered by music, usually a song I haven't heard before (but not always): when somehow the words seem to know something about me, and it is as if my fate is being sealed in some horrible way. When it happens, all I can do is hang on for dear life, grab whatever sense of reason I have, and work out how what I think is happening is not really happening — that the world is still the world, and not some paranoid plot to damn me. I slowly regain reality.
I never know what might trigger these psychic outbursts. One day, I hope to be free of them altogether, and actually, it has not happened for about a year, now. I am getting better, but it may be that I will always be susceptible to some turn of phrase that causes me to lose touch with what is real, and to brush up against the madness.
butterflyz
10:21am tuesday, 30th september
Hmm, may I ask why you chose H13? Or do I look for meaning where there is none to be found?
Stand
12:13am thursday, 2nd october
H13 means nothing, but is hopefully easy to remember.
4:27pm saturday, 4th october
Katherleen
1:27pm sunday, 16th may
Music itself is known to trigger all kinds of emotions in all man kind. You are not alone. Use it as a tool to relax or burn up energy like dancing. Try listening to happy music, and feel the difference. I hope this helps you.
Kind regards, Kath
Katherleen
1:28pm sunday, 16th may
P.s. H13 was a good choice. Very easy to remember!
butterflyz
Stand