I tried so hard to be cool. That quality, that word: "cool": why is it so important to some of us? Especially to the young and impressionable, it is the substance of a quality most sought after, most envied, most mysterious. And yes, some of us do "get it", some of us understand without truly knowing what it means to be cool; people used to call me cool — and that, of course, is the only way you know if you are or not. But why? It is not so much anything like a part of the survival instinct, for after all, cool people are among the most self-destructive of any of us. Perhaps to win a mate? But when two cool people get together, those relationships are usually the most volatile, the flimsiest.
Maybe it's a phase. But it's one that some of us never grow out of, I think. I have, or would like to believe I have, at least. It may be a part of growing up, and that's something that not all of us do, nor aspire to. I would like to think that I would sacrifice cool to do good, instead. And women — they like to run around with the bad boys (which the cool types are notorious for being), but they like to marry the good ones. To aspire to goodness: not to worry whether it is the hippest of acts to be kind, to care, to empathize: to truly do this is to rise above the cruel world. One never transcends when one claims coolness; though perhaps at the cutting edge of happening, he is still without the wings to rise above.
x
8:57am thursday, 4th december
What is it to be cool? Now you've got me thinking!!!
nikita
11:15pm thursday, 4th december
you seem sooo cool lately. I'm glad you're working.
x