Why do I tire so easily? It seems as if I can never get enough sleep, that I always am functioning in deficit — and if I were left to it, I would snooze for days. I'm getting seven to eight hours a night; that's the norm, is it not? There are those that can make do with five, or even four hours, and I marvel at such a feat. Perhaps I am still used to doing nothing, sitting alone in a room talking to the visions in my head. I remember once during those times I slept for a week, straight, only waking up periodically to eat and excrete. How long will it be before my body catches on that those times are over? When I'm going at it at night doing my AI research, I don't want to go to sleep, and in the morning when the alarm clock goes off, I don't want to wake up. The rhythm of life, of the turning days: I just can't seem to get used to it.
I have in the last half of my life been a night person. Though in my youth I was never a morning person, it was no problem at all waking up close to the dawn. Then came the college years, and I believe this is when the change happened: skipping class, sleeping in every day, doing nothing most of the time except smoking pot and listening to music. I guess it is my lesson to be learned about habituating myself. Be careful. Some of these habits that we pick up, some of these rituals — there are places in our brains where they have worn grooves, and escaping these routes of our bent means a long, hard struggle out of rut. The patterns don't break easily; they must be picked at, little by little whittled down. We must remember this, any habit we may to begin.
Vanessa
9:48pm friday, 19th december
Wow, I so relate to that. I got into bad sleeping habits at college, and am naturally a fairly nocturnal person anyway, and when I recently broke up with a partner, it knocked my nightly average down from 5 hours a night to 2. I got some sleeping pills from the doc, but now it's difficult trying to handle the weirdly soporific life a normal sleeping pattern determines (well, in contrast to the wired feeling of not sleeping, it seems soporific).
Vanessa, http://angelfire.com/blog/sarsparilla/blog
anon.x
2:54am saturday, 20th december
what's the opposite to life?! ................. everyone assumes death, but the opposite to death is birth. so that means that life has no opposite..we have no choice but to live. What is it to live?! we have no choice
John
5:23am tuesday, 8th november
I havent done a damn thing for several years. I just click the mouse and my money arrives from a broker in a week. Then I buy pot and food. Then do nothing all day except walk from part of the house the the next. Or go out and drive my car, or buy something, or do drugs with someone else. I think I'll just shoot myself now.
Vanessa
John