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Christmas Prayer5:30am thursday, 25th december
Christmastime, and so, I must a prayer: Lord, there are still times in my days when I conceive that somehow, all is lost, that I have been defeated in my goings. There are perhaps some with faith enough not ever to feel so, but I am not one who is so invulnerable. Sometimes, my heart breaks and I do not know why. Sometimes, there seems no point in anything I do. Lord, give me strength — strength I never knew I could possess; Lord, pull me through the harshness of life, even if I kick and scream that I do not want to go on a step farther. I know very little of Wisdom from above, but in me is a whisper that there always is some meaning to any pain I may experience. Let me know from time to time that You are with me, that you indeed carry me in my most desperate hours.

I often feel I will never reach the place where I am meant to go, that I will never be what I am meant to be, but let this never stop me from doing what I ought. The road I am on can seem too hard to travel, and the steps I take seem too feeble, that I will never reach to anywhere that purpose shows itself — but I must press on, nonetheless: that much I have learned. Grant me the desire to achieve some measure of goodness and light.

I know I pray not often enough, Lord, so that You might help me through; and I need more help than I let on. As always, thank You for having gotten me this far, for I have some distance come. This Christmas, let me understand a little of why, and wonder a little of why not. Let me never lose what little faith I have, let there always be hope.

Amen.


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