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Dreams again12:08am wednesday, 7th november
I think that I will dream again, that I will let myself dream again. I will dream like I did before this last affliction that I have been through; I will hope again, like a normal man. My Lord Jesus Christ will guide me — He has been guiding me this whole way, this whole, winding road — He has been with me without fail. Something has changed in me since that last episode happened, something good has come from it: the brunt of what I did wrong I no longer do. These trials make me stronger, after all, and all trials must pass. Perhaps I have gained some wisdom, too, the stuff that stays with you.

I know what love is. And since that is so, I know God in the little ways that I can, for God is love. If you think about it, you know what love is, too. In fact, even if you don't think about it, you know what love is. The latter is better: don't think about it. Just realize you have known all along what love is, because you have. It is that unspoken hope which keeps each one of us going day by day. It is the light at the end of that long tunnel, but yet, it is here — right here, right now. It is the unqualified yes. And I ask you this, the answer you know before I am finished breathing the question: what is death compared to love? Before any of those troubling brain cells interfere, your heart jumps at the answer.

Lord God Almighty, have mercy on this fool. It took me too long to realize what I know. Amen.


  LG12:26am wednesday, 7th november
"A terrible thing is happening--my love
is dying again, my love who had died already:
died and been mourned. And music continues,
music of separation: the trees
become instruments.

..Once is enough. Once is enough
to say goodbye to the earth.
And the grieve, that too, of course.
Once is enough to say goodbye forever.

Where will I find him again
if not in grief, dark wood
from which the lute is made.

The willows shimmer by the stone fountain,
paths of flowers abutting...."

  Fur9:00pm wednesday, 7th november
Such a horrible horrible word, meaning lord and savior jesus chirst. I hate to read when people write about him like hes really there and gives a shit about anyone.

  Stand9:26pm wednesday, 7th november
Fur, I'm sorry you feel that way. I used to feel something like that, too, until things happened in my life to make me believe differently. I can only hope that you will find happiness, as I have.

  fur11:20pm wednesday, 7th november
i found happiness just not w/ god i dontlike to hear others talk about him but they have a right to

emotion: smiley biggrin grin cool tongue embarassment mad rolleyes frown
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