For the most part, we none of us are thankful that we do not wake up to utter horror, every day — me included. Though in my case, I suppose I should be. Right during the time of my great epiphany, I remember that the parents were making me get up early every day and attend daily morning mass, at 6:30. Which was not the bad part. Right after that, when my parents left me alone in the house, I would sit on the front steps and smoke a cigarette — and the angels would have at me. Mostly Archangel Micha-el, but there were occasionally others, or Jesus Himself would let me have it; all in cartoon form, and I admit it is a sad excuse for horror, but how I dreaded the mornings, back then. It would be so early, and I would be half asleep, all the way through mass, and I would hardly think of what was going to happen, but there was always some unnamed thing that was inevitable in its coming, then, and there was nothing at all I could do about it.
But time forgets things like that: even as I write about it, just now, I do not think on gratitude that I do not awake dreading the dawn. These things we take for granted. As I put it somewhere, we are not thankful simply because we have had the protection of Heaven from the first. It takes a certain discernment, in fact, to tell us how God lets the sun shine on both the wicked and the just — why would it be otherwise? But I write this here, for perhaps some of us understand better than most what it is like not to take such things for granted. Just like my mornings assailed by angels, many of you must have had circumstances where Heaven’s protection failed. And I suppose it would be easy to be bitter that we have had it as rough as we did. But in my idea of us, I have it that we had enough in us that we were driven down so low that to get back to sea level, we have had to rise above many things. How strange that they will never know of what stuff they are truly made of. Not like that.
Reflection
11:09pm wednesday, 29th march
God made the good and bad.Isn't it time God grew up!.Is it just me or am I crazy.
Reflection
11:10pm wednesday, 29th march
Fuck God, I'm going back to Zen.
Reflection
11:18pm wednesday, 29th march
Zen- A practice of Buddhism that asserts that enlightenment can be attained through meditation, self-contemplation and intuition rather than through faith and devotion (kissing ass).Tested and proven true.- Reflection
Stand
12:55am thursday, 30th march
It's like all the strange things that happen in the fringes: you won't believe it unless (until?) it happens to you. Myself, I was a strict atheist (and into Zen, too) for years before I converted to Christianity. I read the Tao te Ching as well as the Gnostic texts found at Nag Hammadi, and thought I knew better than God how not only my life, but the world should be run. I believed myself to be enlightened. Turned out that what I really needed was a good swift kick in the butt.
Yat
6:40am thursday, 30th march
I went to traditional Roman catholic church and school.. where the mass is in latin and the women are inferior to the men.
I don't go to church anymore..as I'm trying to heal myself..the church made me sicker.
I'm reading the Gospel of Mary (Magdalen) and believe that the Gospels distorted things ... Mary may have been Jesus's closest confidant.. She may have been an apostle.
I'm female..and feel cheated by the religion i was brought up with. I want to know more about Gnosticism.
Mary
Yat
6:43am thursday, 30th march
Stand,
How are you doing with your symptoms? I'm a recovering schizoaffective w/high IQ, and used to making big bucks as an engineer. Now I settle for disability pension and Teachers retirement pension.
I haven't been able to go back to the way I way before I got really sick. I just try not to reach bottom again.
Mary
Stand
11:04am thursday, 30th march
No, you'll most probably never be just like you used to be. I know I'm sure not. But I recovered enough to make "big bucks" as a software engineer, and I research artificial intelligence on my own. Like I said, never got back to the same I was before it all happened, but with the meds, I'm pretty "normal" and high-functioning.
Reflection
9:51pm thursday, 30th march
Trust you.
Reflection
9:59pm thursday, 30th march
Money, Money, Money,Does it matter in eternity, or do you really live in eternity?
Stand
12:45am friday, 31st march
I have a saying: "You can take it with you. It's easy. Give it all away."
Reflection
Stand
Stand