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Flowers11:03pm thursday, 28th august
I have known a daffodil. I thought she would be the love of my life when I was 19 years old, and thought so well that I knew all that I needed to know. Perhaps I was right, if it rested on the fact of love. There was a tulip, too, in my life. I never got to know her quite as well as I would have liked, but enough that I could write some good poetry about her. Her midnight waltzes through the center of my desire quieted the faltering of my dreams. My most recent flower was an orchid, and I am still confused why she is out of my life now. She was there for a good while, and I said goodbye to her twice; in the third goodbye she said that I was too good for her, not to waste my time waiting for if she would be ready for it all. I wonder if we may meet some day to come, after all? And I wonder, now, what fragrances await? Soft, what new petals on my fingertips, what flower blooms in the day to come?
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Quotes4:32am sunday, 24th august
Life is a long lesson in humility.
– James M. Barrie

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
– Paul Gauguin

We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
– John W. Gardner

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
– Andre Gide

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
– Robert Orben

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
– Steven Wright

If a “religion” is defined to be a system of ideas that contains unprovable statements, then Gödel taught us that mathematics is not only a religion, it is the only religion that can prove itself to be one.
– John Barrow

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.
– Mario Andretti

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written4:06am wednesday, 20th august
let my heart break
what meaning there, to all of that?
seasons pass withal
the confusion rarely contagious
dreams forget the pain
winds forget the words
as if that why never was
and why you wanted to write this down
not as important, written

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Darkness12:05am saturday, 16th august
In the darkness we show parts of ourselves we think no one can see. Once I wrote a poem saying such a thing, that in the light we see only façades, only the masks we put on for those who are looking at us, that only in darkness can we see into the soul. Perhaps it is congruent with what Camus seems to imply in his essays, that we can only see the true nature of our existence when we are imprisoned. Only see the absurdity when it is so very obvious. Myself, I have seen darkness and light, and light is better. And having so experienced, realize that we are no truer when the lights go out, for fear is a mask we wear, as well. And nothing done in the dark shall remain so, in the eye of eternity. In the darkness, it is best to light the way ourselves.
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Amazing2:47am tuesday, 12th august
Color me amazed. I was just reading an article about WordNet that I printed out on my computer. I realized for the first time in a long time (if ever) that it was perfectly typeset, with flawless color reproduction, on regular letter sized paper. I may be showing my age, but I remember dot-matrix (their noisy buzzing), with its monospaced, quasi letters; black and white dots, too, to form any sort of picture — if your printer did pictures at all; and special paper on a large roll. The printer I originally had, an Okidata, I needed to buy a $50 upgrade to do images, as well as the simple feature of underlining. Don’t start me on how the monitors these days compare with what we had back then. (Hint: compare 1680x1050 to 280x192, for starters.) I still remember when I bought a 16K upgrade to make my Apple ][+ a total of 64K. These days, a Word document takes 64K. Surely, our cups runneth over. Just amazing.
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simple3:08am friday, 8th august
if you’ve ever wondered
how it would be
if we were together, you and me
you might have the secret
locked up in there
when it wants to be free
to let you see
the answer to the question
you keep yourself from asking
afraid that to know
would change everything

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sharp1:13am tuesday, 5th august
from the ashes of a dream will i fashion some real clay
from the arrows that fall short will i build a fire from the wood
from the futile exertions of life will i grind my soul sharp

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Secrets1:06am friday, 1st august
Does everyone need to keep some things secret? Truly secret: known only to one’s own self, things maybe not so dark as all that, but things never confessed, not to kith nor kin. Perhaps they are only things that we have forgotten to tell, but everyone surely has these unkempt aspects to their souls. I think about them, small and unformed, as they never had need to express themselves out in the spoken world, as if that kept them from having been real at one point or another. Though in fact, some are perhaps only holdovers from madness, and had never been real at all, all except for the feelings we had about them, through them. It’s OK, I think. In my world, God knows them all, and when they need it, forgives them all. I believe I’ll pray about mine, though, just in case. ; )
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