± H13.com - Archives - January 2014
january 2014

Beginnings10:12pm tuesday, 28th january
Last night I threw two books away. It is my way to offer burnt offerings to The Lord in this day and age. For the most part, it was the conclusion of business regarding the Event, the War in Heaven, etc. It means that the visions should be receding now, and I actually get the sensation that this is happening. It will be a strange thing, to have a “normal” mind again, but like any reversion to a regular situation, I supposed I will get used to it in a hurry. I have prayed not to forget all the lessons I have learned, nor the miracles I have seen. Yea, verily. A new chapter is about to begin. The beginning is near.
» comment on this entryread comments, (0) so far.

Urgency5:54pm wednesday, 22nd january
I have lost the sense of urgency. I used to have it in spades, both spiritually and in following my technofuture dreams. It seems no great thing, nowadays, to skip a day’s prayer; I have not read much of the Bible in the last year as well. And the artificial intelligence? I seem to have no incentive to dive back into that to any depth, surely not deeply enough to be able to do something real in it. I suppose I should pray, for the purpose I once took for granted. Is this how everyone else is, the normal person? Shivering in a Brownian daydream, mostly lost? I spend my nights relaxing, for the most part. Here and there, a line of poetry comes, or an idea related to the old work (that actually doesn’t seem ever to be completely over, but for the most part, it is finished). And I feel like I should be doing something, but nothing presses me to do it.

Last night I talked with a neighbor, who is a pastor, and who has read my book. I don’t think he made sense of it all like maybe I’d like anyone who does read it to get. I explained my big point of it to him, about the War in Heaven, and why things are like they are. But we got divergent on a single point: could Judas be innocent? It’s pretty clear in the Bible that he’s not — the furthest the neighbor got was that he could be as innocent as Pharaoh in Exodus, whose heart the LORD made hard so that His purpose might be fulfilled. Yeah, he could not think that the scriptures could be wrong in such a way. Whatever, my thought right now. I had plans to make another version of the book, with a lot more material that explains the compact text as it is now. But I feel no fire at my heels. Yeah, whatever. I have the feeling something else will come, just for the time being to be normal in this way. Non-obsessed. Getting by.

» comment on this entryread comments, (1) so far.

strands4:56am saturday, 18th january
how delicate the strands of fate
break one and would the web cascade in reconfiguration
and such existence as to breathe a word of wonder
will not be lost to the scurrying wind
a shard of a broken window into spring
now i’m in jerusalem in my mind
life is sweet when the hope bubbles
built with the words cathedrals are built from
much to be done, just so much one can do
but wars end, even in eternity
the current carried to its terminal activity
now let me stand, here, against the wind
while a storm of wildflowers explode in my eye

» comment on this entryread comments, (0) so far.

Stratospherics5:06am tuesday, 14th january
Time to move on, eh? The Event was world changing, but I think I may have tasted the last vapors of it. Do we go back to an ordinary life? Yet that is never what it was; I lived extraordinarily, though you might not have known that by the look of me. Once there was an author who wrote a book on blogs taken by a post where I said I routinely talked to angels. I wonder what happened to him; I think he would have been intrigued by the Event. This is a life less ordinary, this is a life sublime, a messy life that touches things, touches things that they would have you leave pristine and unchallenged. Not today, world, not today. We will brave the sensory experience.

There are a couple options available to me, none seeming that exciting to me. Perhaps The Lord will provide an e) none of the above that I may fill in the oval with? I await the end of my visionary mindset, perhaps to find an earthly love that I can introduce to heaven? For I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I am right with my God, I am a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. And a friend, maybe even a brother, and a son. Perhaps I have been living in the stratospherics too long, perhaps it is time to land. Earthly delights that call. To live like you mean it. Yes is the answer.

» comment on this entryread comments, (0) so far.

Anniversaire6:08am thursday, 9th january
So it’s been a year since I experienced what I call the Event (as opposed to Incident, which other breaks in my line of life might be tagged). I find I have a similar faith that I had before the Event started: that these visions will fade, and my mind will be whole again, and not scattered all throughout the astral plane. I think that was it, why I was not allowed to marry before, why while on the brink of success, my AI was not allowed to be completed. The Event was the culmination of 25 years. Of visions, madness, dreams. The buildup of which brought this site here into being, half that time ago. I can make sense of it all, a grand theoretics, not the saccharine crystallization of a psychotic breakdown. Life, not death.

Everything has changed. Food tastes differently, and I find myself sort of clumsy at times, both physically and mentally. This is what a true religious experience does: turn your life topsy-turvy. You cannot be the same. And I ended up writing a book about the whole thing. You know how people were like, “It’s December already? What did I do this year?” I had an answer to that. Something physical, something real, something I could hold in my hands. And what have I learned? Things can make sense, all of it. And that there is no such thing as “have to be”. May I never be ashamed to love. May I love beyond my means.

» comment on this entryread comments, (0) so far.

interim7:21pm monday, 6th january
play, violin, play your notes inside my soul
my ears have grown weary
and glad were the things in my memory
they gave me pleasure and pain, lifted and dropped
they proved to me i was alive
you who are lost must learn to climb
for in the effort is a freedom to desire
a charge that builds from unmet potentials
to fall from the sheer face of the world
into the depths where meaning broods
as time unfolds like roses
fire to be known as kith and kin
the miracle waits patiently for one quiet moment
where the tumblers of fate engage
to awaken from an infinite sleep
breathe: there is no now but now
what have you sown?
what shall you reap?
the violin forgets the tune
and for once listens for where it must fit
as time unfolds like roses
and the meaning is in the silence

» comment on this entryread comments, (0) so far.

^ Top of Page

Steal Me:

august 2001
september 2001
october 2001
november 2001
december 2001
january 2002
february 2002
march 2002
april 2002
may 2002
june 2002
july 2002
august 2002
september 2002
october 2002
november 2002
december 2002
january 2003
february 2003
march 2003
april 2003
may 2003
june 2003
july 2003
august 2003
september 2003
october 2003
november 2003
december 2003
january 2004
february 2004
march 2004
april 2004
may 2004
june 2004
july 2004
september 2004
october 2004
november 2004
december 2004
january 2005
february 2005
march 2005
april 2005
may 2005
june 2005
july 2005
august 2005
september 2005
october 2005
november 2005
december 2005
january 2006
february 2006
march 2006
april 2006
may 2006
june 2006
july 2006
august 2006
september 2006
october 2006
november 2006
december 2006
january 2007
february 2007
march 2007
april 2007
may 2007
june 2007
july 2007
august 2007
september 2007
october 2007
december 2007
january 2008
february 2008
march 2008
april 2008
july 2008
august 2008
september 2008
october 2008
december 2008
january 2009
february 2009
march 2009
april 2009
may 2009
june 2009
august 2009
september 2009
october 2009
november 2009
december 2009
january 2010
february 2010
march 2010
may 2010
june 2010
july 2010
august 2010
september 2010
october 2010
january 2011
february 2011
march 2011
may 2011
june 2011
july 2011
august 2011
october 2011
november 2011
december 2011
january 2012
february 2012
march 2012
june 2012
july 2012
august 2012
september 2012
october 2012
november 2012
december 2012
january 2013
february 2013
march 2013
april 2013
may 2013
june 2013
july 2013
august 2013
september 2013
october 2013
january 2014
february 2014
march 2014
april 2014
may 2014
june 2014
july 2014
august 2014
september 2014
october 2014
november 2014
december 2014
january 2015
february 2015
march 2015
april 2015
may 2015
june 2015
july 2015
august 2015
september 2015
october 2015
november 2015
december 2015
january 2016
february 2016
march 2016
april 2016

© 2001-2012 H13.com. All Rights Reserved.