± H13.com - Archives - June 2007
june 2007

And So On...12:34am friday, 22nd june
So, the news is that I’ve quit my day job, and I am starting my own company. I do open-source artificial intelligence software, and I am currently working through design issues. It’s a blast. I start work at about 4pm and end about 4am; basically, this is stuff I would do anyway, my project actually having been started 5 1/2 years ago. The other big thing is that my ex-girlfriend from a few years back emailed me in March, out of the blue. We’ve been talking a lot, and this weekend I’m going to visit her in England, where she is currently situated. We’re going to go to Rome together from England, and this is all very exciting. My parents have all but scheduled the wedding. So, since this is all happening, I am going to take a little break from H13. But I’m sure I’ll be back, soon enough. Thanks for reading, and may the Force be with you. Always.
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breath1:48am tuesday, 19th june
if i had the breath to know the sky
fluid air that pours from heaven to heaven
i would ascend above time
to where the lights of dreaming boom
to the halo of the mountains
to the source of all fire, and its sound
and i could wield the sword of the archangel
cut loose the moon, pierce new stars
in the fabric of the dark shroud
fluid threads that pour from outer sundown
that i breathe in, stitches my soul

someone was watching me, all along

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Arbitrary1:46am friday, 15th june
It all seems so arbitrary: you love whom you love. There are always an improbable number of circumstances that lead to whom you favor above others; take one of these elements away, and you would not feel anything for him or her; or worse, that you would end up their enemy. But through the seemingly random process that is the world at large, these are the people that move you. Perhaps the answer to the riddle is akin to what Henry Miller said, “Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning.” That destiny is ours to make, even if it was all foreseen in the most ancient of prophecies. That we take what is arbitrary, what is random, and make sense of it by what we do. And perhaps in hindsight, it looks so inevitable, why we love whom we love. That what is meant to be often comes disguised as coincidence.
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The Tree Man1:21am monday, 11th june

I explain about the Tree Man here.

Click on this to get a larger version.

Just an image to contemplate.

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End1:28am thursday, 7th june
I remember it all ended, once, in despair and confusion: everything went completely black. It was the counterpoint to my experience on 10/7/88: to that brightness yang was this darkness yin. It made me wonder if that was all that I had experienced, those two extremes, that I had been in contact with the primals Yang, the ultimate active; and Yin, the fundamental passivity. I had always wish to return to the light, I remember, the great solid white; the darkness was like unto death. But I conjectured that my categorization of these two states of awe were as like when the prophets saw visions, these were in terms that they would understand. Perhaps that life and death showed themselves to me in these forms. I remember what happened next when everything went black: the cartoon Jesus lifted it from me, and let me know that I had a second chance. And I still run under that assumption: all that I am now, all that I strive for: it is so not to blow this second chance. I pray that I do not disappoint whatever, whomever gave it to me.
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Quotes By Me12:24am sunday, 3rd june
When you’re on the wrong side of zero, nothing is something.

We don’t notice that miracles happen every day simply because they happen every day.

What’s unfair about life is that it is fair.

Love is so simple, we’ll never understand it.

The good news is that there is no Hell. The bad news is that you’re in Heaven.

Even if we have nothing to say, we all want to be heard.

You can take it all with you. It’s easy: give it all away.

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