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The mystery12:09am friday, 2nd november
God, I think, lets us in on things only when we are ready for them. It is somewhat like the belief that He only grants us trials that He knows we can handle. The mystery of my psychosis, my madness, is how so many of its elements make rational sense. The last episode — it happened when the angels in my head were wanting me to quit sinning, to quit the vices I had gathered together in my heart. Guess what? Because of the fact that they basically kicked my ass, I have done so: I have no pot, I have quit smoking cigarettes, I have thrown away all my porn. As I have asked before, what do I make of this?

Perhaps it is just that I should wait, and it will be revealed to me. But it is very strange that something which has been as debilitating as it has been (at times) can have so much wisdom to impart at other times: to live a good life would be the gist of that. Now, I shall try not to jump to any conclusions, as I have done so many, many times in the past. I am weak, but I have strength in my God, and in my Lord Jesus Christ. May my Lord look favorably upon me from up there, and forgive if I have made too much of the cartoons and voices which have visited me.

Omnia vincit amor. - Love conquers all.


  LG7:10am friday, 2nd november
"Spirit, invited to leave the body,
to stand exposed a moment,
trembling, as before
your presentation to the divine---
spirit lured out of solitude
by the promise of grace,
how will you ever again believe
the love of another being?

My soul withered and shrank.
The body became for it too large a garment.

And when hope was returned to me
it was another hope entirely."

  n.3:41pm saturday, 3rd november
"no coward soul is mine
no trembler in the wordls storm troubles seas
i see heavens glories shine
and faith shines equal
arming me from fear."
~emily bronte

emotion: smiley biggrin grin cool tongue embarassment mad rolleyes frown
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